Through the Eye of the Snake
by AnnaBanana97
Summary: "They're hiding it. Or trying to hide it at least." The story of Lily Evans and James Potter through the eyes of one Severus Snape. Lily/James; unrequited Lily/Snape.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi guys! Well, here's the first part of my Snape POV drabble. I'm not planning on making this a long story, probably just 2 or 3 chapters. Well...enjoy!**

They're hiding it. Or trying to hide it at least. Potter's pining doesn't even surprise me anymore, it's been going on for so long, but I still feel that litte tingle of hatred everytime I catch the longing looks he sends her.

No, it's not his stares that make my blood boil. It's hers.

She thinks she's being discreet, thinks I don't see the way her eyes light up everytime he enters the room. How happy she is whenever he's she doesn't seem to mind him touching her. Because he's always touching her somewhere. It's like her skin is a drug he's addicted to. His hand is always there, on the small of her back as they walk down the corridors. On her arm when he laughs with her. On her thigh when they sit at dinner together. And what's worst is that. She. Lets. Him.

Oh, she thinks nobody notices the little smile that plays around her lips whenever she feels his hand somewhere on her body. But I notice.

And it's slowly but surely driving me insane.

Obviously, it all started with that fateful afternoon by the lake in fifth year. That one day. That one word that changed _everything_!

So many nights since then, spent awake in my bed thinking of the "what if"'s... what if I had apologized more...what if her mind hadn't been poisoned by all those filthy Gryffindors...what if I hadn't said the word in the first place...what if it hadn't happened at all, if Potter had just kept his wand to himself, just _this once_...? Oh, what I wouldn't do to have those times back...the days she still laughed with me, sat with me in class...those times I could close my eyes and for a short moment I couls pretend she wasn't just my friend... but it was all no use!

For in that moment, that awful moment I let the word slip past my lips and into her ears, she turned away from me and hadn't returned.

The summer after fifth year passed slowly, awfully so. I used to spend at least three days a week with Lily in the holidays, days that had always seemed too good to last. And it turned out that they were.

The first three weeks, Lily went on holiday with her family. I walked by her house every day, waiting for her to return. When she did, she barely ever came out. How I know this? Well, I spent my days hiding in the bushes across the street from her house, waiting...for what, I didn't know, because every time she did exit the house, I was too cowardly to try and talk to her.

Even though the days passed excrutiatingly slowly, the time I spent lying in those bushes in the summer heat still beat the times I actually spent at home.

Finally, by the time I feared it would never arrive, came September 1st.

It was the happiest moment of my summer, getting back on that train.

I was sitting in my compartment, looking at the people on the platform saying their tearful goodbyes, when I saw him. _Potter_. The name crossed my mind in a flash of red hot loathing. But there was something...different about him somehow.

His hair was still the same black mess, on top of that same bespectabled head. I noticed he had grown a bit, and was now more filled out. But still, something had changed...

Try as I might, I just couldn,t put my finger on it, despite my thorough inspection. It was weird, he was just standing there, alone...

That's when it hit me. For the first time ever, I saw James Potter all on his own.

Not just without his posse, but also without his old, Auror parents. Loath as I was to admit it, I had always been jealous of the adoration in his mother's eyes as she saw him getting off the train, or the pride in his father's voice as he said his name. But now, they weren't here...I wondered at that, until another person on the platform caught his eye and ripped him from his thoughts.

I watched as she made her way from her parents, who turned away and left the platform, straight through the sea of people until she was standing right in front of Potter. She was so small next to him, she had to crane her neck slightly to see his face.

Potter seemed as shocked as I was by her sudden appearance, and only smiled at her slightly. She started talking to him, and he seemed even more surprised by this but he answered and they continued their conversation. I couldn't help but wonder what had changed during the summer that made Lily be so abundantly friendly with a boy she had proclaimed to loathe, not three months ago.

But before I could dwell on these contemplations, the whistle sounded and the two boarded the train along with everyone else.

As the train sped out of the station, a thought crossed my mind. This was going to be an interesting year...

What an accurate feeling that had been, I noticed as sixth year progressed…

I watched with deep chagrin as Lily and Potter formed a tentative friendship.

I soon found out that Potter's parents had been killed by Death Eaters during the summer. That explained why Lily had suddely softened to him. Pity. That was all that drew her to him. She was just blinded by the fact that he was now and orphan. I wondered idly if she would act the same way with me if my parents suddenly passes away…somehow, I tricked myself into thinking 'yes'… but Potter was weak, that was all. He was weak and she was blind, and if she wasn't careful, she was going to get hurt.

And that was something I just couldn't let happen. Not now and not ever.

But there was't really anything I could do about it, as she still refused to talk to me or even get near me. In the corridors she walked straight past me without so much as a glance my way. In class,she refused to even acknowledge my existence. It was aggravating, but I cintinued hoping that it was just her holding a grudge…that it would blow over with time…

But in the meantime, her and Potter got ever closer. Lily's best friend Marlene had transferred to another school, as her parents had moved, fleeing from the ever-nearing war. This left Lily lonely, and it seemed that Potter had every intention of filling the sace Marlene's move and my betrayal (as she called it) had left in her heart.

The two of them spent so much time together, it was starting to make me sick. I used to always look forward to seeing her, but latelyseeing her meant seeing either Potter or occasionally Black or Lupin too. It seemed like she was never alone these days.

So when I saw her walking alone one night in the corridor from the library, I took my chance. I approached her silently and tapped her on the arm from behind…..which, admittedly, wasn't one of my brightest ideas, as she spun around with a wild look and her eye and her wand drawn on me. When she realized who I was, she relaxed slightly, but didn't lower her wand.

"What do you want, Snape?" she nearly hissed. The use of my last name stung, but I didn't let it show.

"Just to talk" I assured her.

She glanced at my hand that was wrapped around her upper arm, "If I say yes, will you let go of me?"

The relief I felt at her acceptance was dimmed by the fact that it was conditionnal. So I detached my hand from around her arm and took a step back. She seemed to relax at that.

"Okay...I repeat, what do you want?" I was surprised at the coldness still in her voice.

"Yeah.." I began "I just...I miss you, Lily..."

I couldn't help but be disheartened by the fact that she only raised an eyebrow at this.

"So, um...how..." I shuffled myfeet in discomfort "How are things?"

"Fine" she said icily.

"Good, that...that's nice..." was all I could think to say. When the silence grew, I suddenly groaned in frustation. "God Lily, what the hell happened to us?"

She flinched a bit at my harsh tone but just scoffed at my words, "Are you kidding? You dare ask me that after what you did?"

"Oh my God, Lily, it was _one word_! That's it! And I get that I shouldn't have said anything, but come on! We've been friends for 15 years! You can't just throw that away because of a moment of weakness!" I yelled at her, three months of pent up frustration bursting out.

"A moment of weakness? Is that what you'd call calling your so called _friend_ a... a-" but she couldn't even bring herself to say it out loud. She just let out a frustrated breath.

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?" I asked desperately "How many times until you believe me?"

"You meant it. When you said it, you meant it. I saw it in your face, Severus. And you just can't apologize for that. Not when you spend your time with people who would kill me if they got the chance. Not when Muggle-borns _are_ getting killed because of their blood, and you don't even care." her voice got higher and higher until she was yelling at him again. She turned away again and started to leave, but I wasn't done talking yet. I grabbed her arm again and spun her around once more.

That fire I so loved about her was blazing in her eyes. I could see she was about to shout again, so I cut her off before she could:

"That's different! You're different Lily, I can protect you! Please let me-" that's when she did cut me off.

"No I will not! You're such a hypocrite, Severus Snape! You can't just pretend like-"

"_I'_m the hypocrite? _I_'m not the one spending all my time with a boy you said you'd hate forever!" I spit out hatefully.

Lily was slightly taken aback by the sudden change of topic. "What does he have to with this?"

"You're seriously asking? He's got _everything_ to do with this! He's in the fucking center of all this mess! If it weren't for that bastard we'd still-"

Her eyes narrowed at this. "Don't blame James for all of this! He's not the reason you're a fucking son of a bitch!" she screamed, and her voice echoed around the stone corridors.

"Oh, he's James now, is he?" I spat out.

"Don't drag him into this fight, Snape..." she sounded tired as she said it.

"He's a jackass, Lily. You used to know that...you used to know better than this! I understand that Marlene leaving makes you feel lonely but that's no reason to start running around with Potter and his gang!" my voice had finally returned to normal.

"Oh, don't you dare bring Mar into this, too! And _don't_ pretend like you know me or anything about me!" I was taken aback by the acid in her voice and took a small step back. "You wanted to talk. Fine, we talked! Are you happy?" I scoffed inwardly. She knew I was as far from happy as I could possibly be! Once again Lily turned to leave and, once again, I tried to hold her back. This time though, she snatched her arm out of my reach as soon as it made contact with my hand.

"Go to hell, Severus Snape!" she spat as she walked away from me - from our friendship - for good.

I walked back to my dormitory slowly, thinking of how the talk I had wanted so badly from Lily had turned to such a disaster.

**A/N: Sooo...tell me what you think, and I'll try and hurry up posting the rest! :)**

**XO XO Anna**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey hey! Yeah, I know, two updates in one day! Yay for me ;)**

As the weeks passed, I watched with a sick feeling, unable to look away, as the thick friendship between the love of my life and the bane of my existence grew even more.

As the war continued outside the castle walls, it made itself ever more present within them. The animosity between Slytherin and Gryffindor reached such a peak that students - mostly Slytherins - began openly attacking their classmates in corridors.

I could see the emotional toll this was taking on Lily, who was rarely seen on her own anymore, mostly due to her blood status. Potter, Black, Lupin and even Pettigrew -who were all half-bloods at least- escorted the redhead to all her classes and activities.

I was somehow glad for this... it was aggravating that it had to be Potter who did it, but I was glad she wasn't alone, wasn't tempting fate. Because, for some reason, Lily had been a popular target for random hexes or curses thrown between classes.

Somehow, in a twisted, sick way, I was lucky...I had never been present as such an incident happened with Lily. I can't say what I would have done if I had...

As more time passed, the first Quidditch match if the season drew nearer. The morning of the match was, as was the custom, greeted by taunts and sneers by the opposing houses and their supporters.

I saw Potter sitting over at the Gryffindor table. The red and gold clad team was sitting all around their captain, planning some last minute moves.

What, I couldn't say. I had never been a fan of Quidditch. It was petty and just another reason Potter had to feel good about himself.

In our first year, Lily had wanted to go to the game with me, but I had refused. Not wanting to offend me, she had stayed behind as well, keeping me company. In the following years, my dislike for the sport had only grown, and so neither Lily nor I ever went to a match.

Sometimes, when we sat in the library on those Saturday mornings when the school was desrted of students, I caught her looking out of the window and onto the pitch. Even though I probably should have, I enjoyed those moments with her too much to forgzt my pride and just accompany her to the game.

Today would be the first ever Quidditch game I went to. My friends had pushed me into going, and I had had no real reason to say no. The prospect of staying inside the castle all alone was just too depressing to contemplate. Plus, I really wanted to see Gryffindor lose their first match against Slytherin...

And so I found myself filing out of the Hall that morning along with everyone else. I took a seat in the green and silver end of the stands and waited for the game to start.

As my gaze swept the other end of the pitch, it was caught by a flash of bright red in a sea of gold and crimson. Lily. She was here. At a Quidditch match. At the first Quidditch match in her six years at Hogwarts.

I snatched Mulciber's binocualrs from him and looked through them, trying to get a closer look at her. Even from this distance, I could see the excitement on her face, the glee at finally being here. It made my stomach squirm to know that she was here without me.

A strange mix of pride and trepidation crossed her face and I took off the binoculars to see what she had seen. Potter and Avery were walking toward each other across the pitch. The two captain reluctantly shook hands when they met in the middle, and then mounted their brooms and took off into the air.

The referee released the Quaffle and the game began.

I found it was just as dull and uninteresting as it hab been when I was a child. And so, instead of watching the fantastic saves and unbelievable scores that were being made on the field, I decided to put the binoculars back on my eyes and stare at Lily.

Her hair was wilder than it had been before, and her face was red despite the October chill. She had a huge smile on her lips and was talking animatedly to Lupin, who was sitting next to her, probably explaining the different moves and techniques Potter and his team used.

From across the stands, I clenched my fists in annoyance as my Lily talked to the werewolf.

I stiffened as a sudden look of horror crossed their faces and they stood up in shock. I looked around the pitch, wondering what might have caused such a reaction.

It wasn't long until I found the source of their distress: Potter was lying on the grassy field, his arms stuck out at unnatural angles and his broom hovered some fifty feet above him.

There was a moment of total silence, in which I glimpsed Avery on his broom, his beaters bat still raised and a smug smile on his face, before everything erupted into movement.

Black landed some distance away from Potter and sprinted to his side in a rush, fropping to his knees by his brother's side. He was soon followed by the remainder of the Gryffindor team. On the other end of the field, the Slytherins flew to the ground and jumped of their brooms, striding to their locker rooms lazily.

I turned around and started making my way out of the stands. I had no desire to see the whole school fawning over Potter's well-being. The last thing I saw before getting out of the stadium was, as always, Lily, running down the steps to the field, trying to get to Potter.

She was the first one in the Hospital Wing. Even before Black. I watched from a safe distance as the matron finally came out to let the visitors in. She rushed inside, her face tear stained and red. Black. Lupin and Pettigrew were right behind her. The last thing I saw before the door slammed shut was Potter lying unconscious in his bed and Lily pulling up a chair and sitting down next to him.

I spent the next few hours hiding in the Hospital Wing corridor. I saw many people come and go, professors, other students, even Hagrid came by to see if Pretty-Boy-Potter was all right. I was surprised when I saw Black walk out of the double doors. The surprise faded when he came back a few minutes later, his arms stacked with all sorts of food. That was typical.

I never saw Lily, though. It had been ten hours since she had entered the Wing and it was well after visiting hours. But she still hadn't come out. The fact that she was still in there bothered me to no end.

An hour or so later, Lupin and Pettigrew made their way out of the Wing, both looking extremely worn out. Black wasn't with them...and neither was Lily.

As the two passed the dark alcove I was hiding in, I caught a few words of their conversation:

"...think that we should have woken them up?" Pettigrew was asking.

Lupin just gave him a look, "You really want to be the one waking Lily up and telling her to leave? Boy, I thought you were smarter than that..."

The other's retort was lost on me as they rounded a corner and vanished from my sight. But their words still echoed in my head after they were gone. Lily really was still in there...and she was asleep...by his bedside...

My gut wrenched at the thought and my decision was made in seconds. I had to see for myself!

So I left my hiding place, my limbs aching from spending so much time in such a small space. I made my way to the big double doors and opened them, careful not to make a sound.

Potter's was the only occupied bed in the ward, and the curtains were drawn around it, hiding him from view. I stopped just outside the curtain. What was I doing? Why would I want to see Lily with that arrogant bastard? I should be running in the opposite direction, try to get away from here! But all these very good objections didn't keep me from parting the curtains around the bed.

And there she was, siiting in one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs. She was sleeping, her head on the edge of Potter's bed and facing away from me. Lily sleeping would have been a beautiful sight, were it not for the hand she was grasping tightly in hers under her cheek. His hand. He was asleep on the bed, his face turned in Lily's direction.

Black was also sleeping on a chair on the other side of the bed, his feet propped up on the bed.

It would have been a peaceful sight, had it been anybody else. But the fact that it was them and that it was her somehow defiled it.

With one last look at the three of them, I wrenched the curtains back in place, not caring if anybody heard.

**A/N: I know, it's short! Please don't kill me! Well, at least it was quick right? Right?**

**Well, I'll post one last chapter with the ending soon :D**

**Love y'all! XO XO Anna**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here it is, my last little chapter... so enjoy! **

To my disappointment, but Lily's pleasure, Potter's stay in the Hospital Wing was very short lived. This was probably due to the fact that he and Madam Pomfrey had formed somewhat of a friendly relationship after his many stays with her. She let him go after just four days, which was something of a record for her; the young matron was very strict about her bed-rest rules and knew no-one would enforce them unless she did it herself. It was thus decided that no person that was delivered with a broken bone would leave the Wing in under three days.

So it was a surprise to see Potter wandering the halls only four days after his accident, which had caused one broken arm, a broken thigh-bone and several cracked ribs. He must have a very friendly relation with her, indeed…

I couldn't decide whether I was happier with Potter out of the Wing… on the one hand, it meant seeing Potter again every day and I had to admit that four days without having to watch him and his Marauders strutting about like they owned the school had been a much-needed vacation. On the other hand, having Potter locked up in the Hospital Wing entailed Lily being with him whenever she possibly could, and me not seeing her at all for days. I couldn't decide which was worse.

The next few weeks were a relief for me. Nothing happened – which is to say, nothing of any interest to me. Things went on as they had in the beginning of the year, with Lily quickly becoming known as the 'Fifth Marauder', a term I could only scoff at.

But this non-activity had me constantly holding my breath. I couldn't help but always be on my guard, waiting for the situation to explode.

One day, in the beginning of January, I was walking around the corridors with my fellow Slytherins. The castle was empty as everyone had left for the holidays and would only be back the next week. The four of us, which is to say Mulciber, Avery, Bellatrix and myself, had decided to stay at Hogwarts as none of us had any particular desire to return home.

I was just following the rest thinking about nothing in particular when the sound of someone calling my name snapped me back to reality.

"Sev? Hey, Snape?" said Avery, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"What is it?" I answered in my usual bored tone.

"We're gonna go sneak to Hogsmeade…you coming?"

If I was honest, no. I had no real desire to go to a pathetic little pub and watch as my so-called friends got piss drunk. But it beat hanging around the school and doing nothing, which was my other option. So I nodded curtly and we made our way to the Entrance Hall. With the castle as empty as it was, the security around the castle was bound to be minimal. Nothing we couldn't get through, not with the ink we all had on our left arms and the 'extra education' (as Bellatrix called it) we had gotten from our master.

And so we made our way down to the Entrance Hall, through the oak front doors and down the path that led to the mountain village.

We sat in the Three Broomsticks for what felt like hours, my three companions chugging glass after glass as I watched them with no small amount of disdain. I had been wrong; it would have been better to just stay at the castle. I just wanted this to be over. And with 'it' I meant all of it. School, classes, pretending there wasn't a war going on, pretending we were all friends and didn't hate each other. It was all so exhausting…

And, to my enormous relief, we finally made our way out of the pub and back to the castle.

On the way back Avery decided to try striking up conversation. "So Snape, why don't you tell us what's got your knickers in a twist, huh?"

"That's none of your damn business, got that, Avery?" I snapped back.

"Whoa, what's got you all defensive?" snickered Mulciber from my other side.

I was about to retort, but Avery cut me off, "I bet it's about the Evans chick again." He muttered. That snapped me to full attention and I heard Mulciber chuckle again.

"It's _aaalways_ Evans with him, ain't it?"

"Shut your mouth, Mulciber. You don't know what you're talking about." I bit out. I was worried if I talked too much I'd start shouting. And that just wouldn't do right now.

"Oooh, hit a soft spot there, did we?" cooed Avery as we made our way through the Entrance Hall. "What, you all bothered 'cause she spends all her time with Potter?"

"I don't care about the stupid mudblood, you got that?" I snapped. "And don't even start with _Potter_! Those two can do whatever it is they damn well _please_, because I just really don't care any—"

"But you should." Said Bellatrix from my side. She had been quiet all through the walk back…unusually so. Bellatrix Black wasn't really one to keep her mouth shut. She proved that once again now, as she circled around me, her face a mask of deathly calm. "You should very well care what they do, Severus. Does the mark branded on your skin mean nothing to you? What about the oath you swore? Does their meaning wane so quickly after a few months behind these castle walls?"

I looked her dead in the eye and I felt my jaw tighten indignantly. "What do either have to do with any of this?"

"It has _everything_ to do with this, Severus. It is the whole reason why we fight this war. The fact that filthy mudbloods like Lily Evans pretend to be our equals. They are not. And while Potter is a blood-traitor, he remains a pureblood." When she spoke again, her voice had risen to a screech. "And pure and mudbloods _do not mix_! No matter who they are! It is the highest treason there is, allying yourself with that vermin. So you should very well care what they do, Severus Snape. And I do not care what lingering affection you feel for that mudblood bitch, if she befouls the blood of one of the only pureblood lines left," and she spoke again in that calm voice of hers as she approached her face to mine "you will kill her." And with that, she turned and walked the rest of the way to the dungeons.

I released a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Yeah, and while you're at it, you might as well finish off Potter, too." Muttered Avery as the two of them walked past me, following Bellatrix to the common room.

When they'd rounded a corner, I heard a gasp, and then quickly retreating footsteps. I spun around, but all I saw was a mane of red hair disappearing behind a corner. I sighed deeply again and made my way slowly, very slowly, toward the Slytherin common room.

How much Lily had heard, I had no way of knowing. But she had definitely heard the last part. I decided that was a good thing… the chances of me and her ever getting along again were slim to none already. This would change nothing for me. The only thing I could hope from this was that she would finally see sense: that any kind of relationship with James Potter would lead to nothing but trouble.

If I had hoped for an immediate effect following the talk Lily had overheard, I was badly disappointed. She spent as much time with the four troublemakers as ever, a fact that deeply unnerved me. Additionally to the usual reasons I didn't want her to be with them, now there was the added threat Bellatrix had pronounced. Of her dying…of me killing her…

I wondered, not for the first time, how everything could have gotten so out of hand.

The only thing that seemed slightly different was Lily's behavior. Her mood, to be more precise. She used to shine as bright as the sun whenever she talked to Potter or one of the others. But lately it seemed like dark clouds had gathered around her, drawing her into a world of shadows. She looked like she barely ate, she was so skinny, and the shadows under her eyes betrayed her lack of sleep.

On Lupin's birthday in March, she came into the Hall, greeting the group with her first genuine smile in weeks. And she hugged all of them. And as she wrapped her arms around Potter, I saw her face relaxing for once. But then she snapped back to reality and quickly disentangled herself from him. She hastily glanced at the Slytherin table to see if anyone had noticed. No one but me had.

And that's how it went on for weeks. Lily, seeming more and more distressed, paid careful attention to not show any sign of possible affection for Potter. Not more than she was showing the other three Marauders, anyway. And it was all because she had overheard that talk between me and Bellatrix Black…

It had been an awful day, that fateful day in April. I had woken up too late because Mulciber had found it amusing to turn off my alarm clock, which had meant no breakfast and a detention from Flitwick. Then, in Potions, my extremely dimwitted partner had made our potion overflow, showering me in deep green slime. Those two hours were only made worse by the fact that Lily was sitting with Potter and that they were whispering furiously together. About what exactly, I couldn't tell, but it looked like they were arguing. And that's when the cauldron incident occurred. Slughorn had made me stay after class to clean up the mess my 'partner' had caused.

When I finally got out, my robes still dirty and my hands dried and shriveled up from the cleaning supplies, I made my way back to my common room.

Suddenly, I heard voices echoing down the stone hallways. They were loud voices, not too far away. I don't know why, but I found myself making my way toward the source of the shouting.

I came upon a scene that was more than familiar to me: Lily and Potter, standing a few feet apart, both looking furious and throwing insults at each other.

"For the last time, Potter, it's got nothing to do with you! So just drop it!" she was yelling when I quickly hid behind a tapestry. (A/N: All these tapestries sure do come in handy…).

"Oh please, don't give me that! I know something's wrong, you've been avoiding me for weeks."

"I _have not_ been avoiding you. And how typical of you to directly assume that whatever is wrong with me has _anything_ to do with you. You haven't changed a bit, have you? Still the same arrogant little berk as last year, right? I can't believe I thought you could actually grow up…" she yelled, I felt a flash of pride at her words. Finally she was seeing the truth.

"Don't start this again, Lil. Don't come back with those old arguments, okay?" Potter seemed livid now, too. "And _don't_ pretend this isn't about me in any way! I'm so sick of you pretending, Lily! Can't you just tell the truth, just this once?"

"I'm not pretending anything! What would I be pretending…?" her voice seemed to falter when he took a step closer to her.

"I know you, Lily. Like it or not, but I know you. And I think that by now I can tell when something's bothering you. But I can't read minds yet, Lil, so you're gonna have to tell me what's wrong. You know," he smirked, "specifically…"

Lily seemed to hesitate: she was looking at him, trying to decide whether to be honest with him or not. Finally, her words came out, but they were barely more than a whisper and I had to strain my ears to hear them. "I can't." She turned her back to him, her shoulders slumped, and took a step away from him. That's all she was able to do, as Potter had wrapped his hand around her arm and held on tightly.

"Why not?" came the pained whisper.

"Because if I admit to you how my skin tingles when you touch me, how I automatically smile when you're there, how every moment I don't spend with you seems like a moment wasted, how – how I have managed to fall for you so completely in the past few months…. Then that would be the most selfish I have ever done and could ever do." I didn't see her face as she had her back to, but I knew it was tear-stained and her voice had broken several times throughout her declaration. "Because as much as I want you to grab me and kiss me right now, the fact remains that we are in a war. A war in which you would be killed if you were with someone like me."

"Someone like you?" he repeated. "You mean the most intelligent, funniest, bravest person I have ever met? I'm sorry, but I just don't see how that's a bad thing to be…"

Lily made a sound of protest, so Potter went on. "I _know_ what you meant, Lil. But I just can't bring myself to care about that. I mean, it's not like I'm safe now! After school, I'm going to fight in this war, Lily. I'll be in danger then, too. And it's not like these wannabe Death Eaters in here are going to kill me right under Dumbledore's nose! Look," he grabbed her hands tightly in his as he continued. "I know you're scared. And that's okay. Because the truth is, I'm petrified. Thinking about everything that's going to happen once we get out of here, everyone I could lose… it scares the crap out of me, Lily. But if I let those bastards dictate what I do or don't do, then they've already won. And that is just something I cannot do. So if this fear of something happening to me because of – because of your _blood status_ is the only thing holding you back… then I say please, _please_ Lily, for once forget about everyone else and just do what you want to do."

"I…I…" she began. It sounded to me like she was trying – and failing – to formulate a correct sentence. The words that did manage to come out of her mouth were spoken so faintly I almost didn't catch them. I wish I hadn't. "I love you."

Potter was facing in my direction and I watched as different emotion flickered across his face in a matter of milliseconds: confusion, surprise, shock and a mix of elation and relief. I barely caught his mutter of "Thank God." before he pushed her against the wall.

But I could still hear her little gasp as the cold wall made contact with her body. And I could still see her hands reaching into his hair when his lips covered hers. And I could still hear my own heart finally breaking with a resounding crack. But that sound was drowned out by the sound of my feet slapping against the floor as I ran away from my worst nightmare.

You know how, sometimes, you wake up screaming and shaking and sweating from a bad dream and then realize that it didn't really happen? Isn't that just the best feeling in the world? Well, when I woke the next morning, I felt nothing like that. The reality of what I had witnessed the previous afternoon came crashing down on me. The one thing that had been my last comfort – that I didn't have Lily, but that at least he didn't have her either – was gone.

While I got showered and dressed, I dreaded the thought of walking into the Great Hall and seeing them together… But still, me being the masochist I was, I went down to breakfast.

I was surprised at the normalcy of things. I didn't know what I'd expected, maybe that the Sun had turned black or that it was raining fire… but it was all the same as it had been yesterday morning.

When I sat down at my table, I spotter them. They, too, looked normal, just a slightly pink tinge in their cheeks as they looked at each other.

It was black who made me realize it. I would have imagined him to be out of his mind with joy, making public announcements that his best mate had finally – _finally _– gotten the girl. But he was the epitome of boredom, slowly eating his bacon and eyeing the Hall lazily.

Ah, I thought. So they hadn't told him. And if he didn't know, then nobody did. That was interesting.

As I watched them over the next few days, nothing happened. Not openly, anyway. She had probably told him of my talk with Bellatrix. And he, to assuage her fears, had agreed to keep their relationship a secret… But I could see the covert glances, the secret smiles, just like before. But they were different. They were so, so much worse.

And they're hiding it. Or at least trying to hide it. But I see it. I see it all. I see them sneaking out of school at night, holding hands in the dark corridors. I see her holding back from wrapping her arms around his neck and snogging him when he wins the next Quidditch match. I see him joining her at rounds and pulling her into an empty classroom. And then I don't see them for a while.

And I know – I just _know_ – that they're together, but they won't show it and they keep lying to everyone and I'm the only one that knows and somehow that makes nit so much worse.

But something will go wrong. He'll hurt her. Somehow, he will hurt her and her heart will be broken. And I can't stand that I still care.

**A/N: There…it's done… Pretty fast, don't you think? Well anyway, Read and Review pleeeeease! :D **

**XO XO Anna**


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